Urgent Update

***Looks like South America got a little thing called the internet
****South America is not Florida, Texas, Mississippi, Arizona


Welcome Argentina and Australia

Everything must come to an End...Just go out with a huge explosion.

The RWC wrap up edition brought to you by Minor League Chew, just like Big League Chew but for the minors. 

Ophishal bubble gum of 

Bradenton Marauders, Charlotte Stone Crabs, Delmarva Shorebirds, Fort Wayne Tin Caps, Orem Owlz, Augusta Green Jackets and Great Lake Loons. 

(those are actual teams)

Rugby World Cup - Recap

It started, went on for awhile, now its over.

International shout outs

Somehow this C.R.A.P. (Creative Ramblings About People) made it around the world.  Rugby World Cup game breakdown + thoughts du jour Blog was viewed on every continent on Earth.* I have a strong feeling it was even viewed in space, I’m going with my gut that an astronaut on the International Space Station viewed the blog. Heres the list: Canada, Germany, Japan, New Zealand, Russia, South Africa, Spain, United Kingdom, United States.

Hi friend, Eh! - Hallo Guten Tag - こんにちは - Hey bru - привет - hallo jy - ¡Hola mi amigo - ello mate, sod off  - USA USA USA

*Now you may say to yourself that I’m missing a country from South America.  True.  This is where critical thinking and deductive reasoning comes into play.  It is obvious that South America doesn’t have the Internet yet.

In the Final Tale of the Tape in the Greatest Inventions did anybody else think that New Zealand claims that they invented jogging as perplexing/ridiculous.

If I am hearing Ron Burgundy correctly “apparently you just run for an extended period of time”, New Zealand whats next?

This blog is legit

In the second post, Sunday September 18, 2011 - I made the claim that Brett Lawrie liked the RWC. Go back and look,  and now Twitter confirms my thoughts

blawrie13 Brett Lawrie

Just ordered 2 sick new jerseys can any 1 guess which sport and what team ? #I-know-it's-hard

blawrie13 Brett Lawrie

Ahah ur all wrong I got 2 brand new game new zealand all blacks 2011 rugby world cup jerseys ! White and black #nasty

Trends for the future

With all these neon coloured boots being worn by every back in the tournament. At the 2015 World Cup in England I foresee the re-emergence of 1990’s era L.A. Lights footwear.  Those big brain thinkers at the shoe companies will put that awesome red light, into every players boots from Australia to Zimbabwe. 

What to do now?

Now that I have a black hole’s worth of time on my hands. Here are my suggestions for viewing enjoyment until World Cup 2015 in England.

Swamp People

Storage Wars

It has been fun, until next World Cup.

#BOOM

Who cares any more?

The possible title for the last prediction

1.

What has changed in the world since 1987.  Nothing. New Zealand beats France in the World Cup in NZ.

How good and or stereotypically French, is Marc Lievremont’s lip warmer?

This quote is awesome

Now that I got that out of my system we can get down to busy-ness.

Your classic Fighter Tale of the Tape with only vital facts

Winner in Red

France		New Zealand
No entry	Tattoos	Sonny Bill Williams
Didn’t bring Chabal	Hair	Ma’a Nonu
Maxime Medard	Facial Hair	Franks brothers until they shaved
Animal - Coq	Logo	Plant - Silver Fern
Les tricolores	Colour	In my book black is a shade
Julien Good Area -  Julien Bonnaire Aurelien Red series -  Aurelien Rougerie	Translation	Sam Blanche Verrouillage - Sam Whitelock Kieran Lire -  Kieran Read
The breakthrough in pencil technology came when French inventor and chemist Nicolas Conte developed and patented the process used to make pencils in 1795. The bikini was an invention created in France in 1946, named after the Bikini Atoll in the Marshall Islands, the site of atomic bomb testing. The French inventors were Jacques Heim and Louis Reard. Francium was discovered by Marguerite Perey in France (from which the element takes its name) in 1939. It was the last element discovered in nature, rather than by synthesis.  Symbol Fr and automic number 87.	Greatest Inventions *	Referee whistle - William Atack  New Zealand referee William Atack became the first sports referee in the world to use a whistle to stop a game in 1884.  The referee’s whistle is now the norm for umpiring, but until Atack came out on the ground whistling, referees had to raise their voices to control games.  Eggbeaters & hairpins - Ernest Godward  Ernest Godward - who was British-born but emigrated to New Zealand in his teens - was a prolific inventor. His many inventions included an eggbeater, a burglar-proof window and, in 1901, the world’s first spiral hair pin - an international success that allowed him to set up as a full-time inventor.  Jogging maestro - Arthur Lydiard  New Zealand athletic trainer Arthur Lydiard invented jogging - the method of building up physical fitness by gradually increasing stamina. This system is used by millions of people worldwide as part of their everyday health and fitness regime.

 *Greatest Inventions is a toss up

**A wise old hobo once told me ‘numbers don’t lie’.  France won the Tale of the Tape 4-2.  Therefore France will win the Rugby World Cup.  Or am I scoring like golf (lowest score wins) who knows. 

Enjoy muppets.

Under Construction - COMING SOON

The final thinking process is almost complete.  Look forward to the prediction / potential outcome you have all been waiting for.




Side note - this blog has been viewed in every continent except for South America, so spread the word and get this thing to the dirty south.  First South American country to be represented, wins a prize and a shout out.

Down to the last 2 updates, the 2nd last will be the anticipated final decision, and following that will be everybody's favourite : tournament recap, international shout outs, things to look for in 4 years time, and finally auction of the website assets, domain name, creative licenses and if that doesn't work this will probably turn into a porn site.

 curator of the site

This is the space that should be dedicated to the 'title'

Semi Predics

Its shrt frm wk.

France vs Wales

Future Newspaper Headline 

"sacré bleu! nous étions contre les dragons, les jonquilles, et une centaine de gars nommé Jones et Williams"

Damn it! (or scared blue, not too sure) we were up against dragons, daffodils, and one hundred guys named Jones and Williams.  

Wales in a convincing win, send France back to their homeland for baguettes and the comfort of a smooth cigarette. 

NZ vs Australia

Future Newspaper Headline 

"After Australia removes their embassy from New Zealand, NZ officials consider being nicer to their next closest neighbours, Antarctica and Chile"

With all these horrible injuries somehow the AllBlacks keep winning games. (here comes another horrible Lord of the Rings reference)  They must have the One Ring, one ring to rule them all. 

After last weekends Quarter finals games, Kiwi, Welsh and français papers contacted me, for permission to use my future headlines.  SA papers also contacted me for future use of my Habana prediction.  Australia sent me a message about not selecting them to win again this week and if it works out in their favour again, I could be looking at a fancy boomerang and a nice new pair of UGGs. 

A heartfelt goodbye to the one and only ‘Bash Brothers’, Jannie and Bismarck Du Plessis.  Whenever both were on the field together they would pick fights and stickup for one another no one else. Maybe a non-fictional story?

• Bismarck ‘Jannie, there making fun of my lineout throws.  

• Jannie ‘leave my little brother alone’

• both ‘in the name of the Du Plessis brothers’, ‘time to start throwing’

Mark McGwire | Jose Canseco 

the Hanson brothers 

Fulton Reed | Dean Portman

Awesome fact the Du Plessis brothers were born in a famous place.  Bethlehem.  Now either Jesus was actually South African or theres a Bethlehem in South Africa and another town from the Bible stories

Quarter Finals Negrodamus Predictions

Ireland vs Wales
Future Newspaper Headline
"After a close Welsh victory both teams realize their combined power, and join forces, like Transformers, to become the unbeatable nation of Wirelands.  But there inability to either choose green or red as there colour, because a red/green mix is a copyrighted trademark of Christmas, has forced tournament organizers to withdraw team Wirelands."


England vs France
Future Newspaper Headline 
"France leaves there past excuse to losing to the Tongans "of we were 'le tired'" and run a disfunctional England side into the ground."


South Africa vs Australia
Future Newspaper Headline
"Bryan Habana claims to be 'King of South Africa' after beating Australia.  He argues that he found the ancient South African king's crown and said , "try to catch me, and make me give it back.""


NZ vs Argentina
Future Top Secrety New Zealand Government documents title
"Immediately cancel plans to invent time machine back to 1987."  After beating Argentina, NZers still continue to believe.

After this post I am going to put more thought and effort for the knockout stages

Week Fore

"The lady doth protest too much, methinks."

Hamlet - William Shakespeare.

WARNING its against the law to murder someone

Game breakdown 

Canada vs Japan  

-Kiwi accent made it sound like he said Johnny Cudmore off of a lineout

-"he's professing his innocence..it got me fooled"

-they both got the nice orange boots on about DTH and Phil McKenzie

South Africa vs Samoa

-“hes got dynamite in his boots.” about Francois Steyne

-“he just about broke the cross bar with his first one” about Francois Steyne's attempt at a penalty from past half that ricocheted off the posts.

-Nigel Owens - ref - to Samoa Hooker “what part of wait did you not understand...Do you want to play against 16 players?”

-Never knew he was a fan

Cookie Monster

England vs Scotland

-“looks to me like the Scotland coach Andy Robinson has had a blood transfusion, had his English blood replaced by Scottish blood”

-"Theres been an extravaganza of free kicks"

-about Alan Jacobson “with all due respect, but in NZ that part of the ground is known as ‘fat mans alley’”

-referee Craig Joubert “and no yelling at me either” to England 9 Ben Youngs

-“I dont know why Joubert is asking one of the English players” about referee Craig Joubert asking if Scotland’s penalty kick was short.

-“you can see spider cam coming into your picture now” Justin Marshall talking as if the camera is a person and not the spider cam 

-“Sweet as a nut” after Johnny Wilkinson drop goal

Wales vs Namibia

-That mountain in Taranaki is beyond amazing

-Wales the fittest team at RWC

-Grade A name - Lloyd Burns ‘the Newport Brick Layer’

-Big chugging Heinz Koll - Namibia lock scores a try “thats a beautiful moment in Rugby World Cup”

 Wales vs Fiji

-didn't think Wales would put that big of a beatdown on Fiji

-commentator  after a Welsh try “I dont want to take anything away from Wales but theres a 3 meter forward pass there.”

Italy vs USA

-Was this the try of the century??  Were you watching?

Australia vs Russia

-Radike Samo on the wing!!!

Georgia vs Romania

-Name I'm going to miss Georgia 12 Tedo Zibzibadze

-commentator “thats the easiest name in all of Romania to pronounce”

-commentator “plenty of man hugging going on the the Georgian dressing room”

-commentator “when you look at their faces they got ‘man’ written all over them”

- I am just going to repost an awesome Twitter post because it was so truthful 

@ChaunceyOToole Georgia v Romania must be a nightmare for colour commentators 

France vs Tonga

-A name that will stick with me forever Tongan Winger Sukanaivalu Hufanga

-commentator about France's attacking style “very hard to go through a wall of Tongans like that”

-“I saw how polite he was being with the referee, there” about Tonga 17

CAUTION unfiltered opinion

-Tonga fully deserved that win but  France are fucks for the last bit of play not going for the win reseting a 5 meter scrum 4 times when they needed to score twice

Canada vs NZ

-“oh dear, thats about the worst offside in the tournament” about Canada 10 - Ander Munro

-Jason Marshall awesome ‘football’ throw totally not as the kiwi commentators say 'legitimate'

-I stopped watching after this score did we win?

-Who was this guy he got a lot of screen time

French referee has definitely never seen anything like that before

Italy vs Ireland

-what did Ireland's coaches say at half time?

New and improved format starting next week, Stay tuned.

a short and sweet little entry, like me

I had major technical problems with computers and the internet machine this weekend, thats why there was a delay in posting this week, also the owner of the internet asked me to delay my posting because the amount of traffic going to this blog was more than facebook, twitter, youtube and all the XXX sites on the internet combined and then multiply that number by a million. That is why this weeks entry is a bit smaller but it doesn't really matter because Canada didn't play.

Week Three

"Don't go blowing all this money on Sweet Chilli Heat flavoured Doritos and chocolate milk"

my significant financial backer - direct quote.

WARNING Anybody, I mean anybody can edit Wikipedia articles

Game breakdown 

Tonga vs Japan  

-best name matchup game of RWC Brave Blossoms vs Sea Eagles

NZ vs France

-100 caps for the greatest cheater in rugby -congrats

-black vs white looks like a cool version of chess

-SBW on the wing I think I mentioned in last weeks entry that I would be impressed if he did it against a good team. Tonight France was not a good team

-coolest fan at the tournament Darth Vader

starting to feel like an Oakland Raiders game

Argentina vs Scotland

-way too many empty seats!

-both teams have skyskrapers in the second row.

-25 points but the over under was 5.5 points.

-overall amazing game

-what was thats medic doing??? picture

Red shirt properly trained, little fellow -"what school did you go to?"

Canada flag at Scotland vs Argentina, his name is Francis Terrableau, he's a regular reader of the blog

Ireland vs Russia

-age old question what gets you drunker vodka or Bushmills?

Romania vs England

-the oaks vs the blokes

-are Romans from Romania?

-whenever I hear somebody mention the ‘Bath club’ (Bath Rugby) i get excited, and believe bath club is like Fight Club.

• The first rule of bath club don't talk about bath club
• The second rule of bath club don't talk about bath club

Australia vs USA

- first time I have heard the ball called a ‘pill’ this tournament

-revenge for all those Paul Hogan movies, 'thats not a knife...this is a KNIFE'

SA vs Namibia

-first ever all African rugby game at world cup, can you say bragging rights

-Commentator about Pierre Spies “physique wise, hes the Arny Schwarzenegger of international rugby"

-Habana is even fast in slomotion

-why was Danie Rossouw wearing 26?

-Namibia's Van Lill ‘the Capetown dentist’- either the greatest nickname or an amazing beard for a dentist

Honourary Canadian 'Beardo'

Italy vs Russia

-I'm trying a new way of analyzing peculiar matchups - Wikipedia facts

Russia population 143 million - population density 8.3per square km

Italy population 61 million  - population density 201per square km

-Russians should play a wide open game style, Italy should be tight and used to crowded situations

-crazy Russian rugby fact first played in 1880‘s, before it was banned for its brutality

-Heres an idea open a restaurant only serve Russian pasta and Italian vodka

call it Focaccia the Cosmonaut.

Highlights

-Piri Weepu and Corey Jane's set move into a try. The best preplanned move of tournament

-Possible best name of the tournament Ruaridh Jackson Scotland (rory)

Mediumlights

-when are they going to play a game in - Mordor, the Shire, or Helms Deep

Lowlights

-Where are the  cheerleaders?

-not enough commercial breaks

-I have yet to see a coach's challenge flag

Great Quotes

commentator 

-"ballon means ball in French"

-"French man goes down as if hes been shot, and I suspect he hasnt been shot...he'd be good in hollywood , Yachvili, wouldn't he be"

-"he was stuck on that like a barnacle"

-"this is rediculous....this is nonsense. hes disrupting play". Argentina number 8 injured and ref doesn’t stop play.

-"are there 3 Contempomis out there?"

-"you would need a crowbar and a tractor to get him off the field" Argentina prop

-"look at the size of those shorts, you could sleep under those at night under the sweaters"

-"replica...brilliant"

-"and hes overcooked that one"

-"so casual... like a was walking the dog"

-"he had no right to score that try"

-“theres a lot of white on show..its a big laundry bill”

-searching for the ball..."its white and its an oval”

‘oh he's just busting them willy nilly”

-‘and that pass is simply awful’

-‘his sideburns have grown every week of the world cup..hate to see if they made the quarter finals’ about Romania coach

-‘hes sucking in large amounts of oxygen’

-commentator 1“the English water boy, switched out the matchball and gave a different one to Johnny Wilkinson.” 

commentator 2 “good work investigative journalist”

-Justin Marshall call of the world cup “hes 6’15 and he still couldnt reach that ball”

-“2 men in the commentry box just crossed their legs”

-“oh hes ready to go, he put his eye back in” after Lewis Moody puts a contact lense back in

‘hes get up looking like someone stole his sandwich’ after Romania get denied a try.

-commentator 1 “ive got more info on the balls” 

commentator 2 “thats the information ive been waiting for”

How to Improve Rugby in the Future

this may not all be fact but im gonna take ‘creative license’

play with weighted rugby balls.  I'm thinking the weight of a heavier medicine ball.  If the ball weighed significantly more it would increase the strength of players arms, a knock on or dropped ball could really hurt, if it landed on your toes, and there would be a good excuse for all the missed conversions and penalty kicks.  

I don't want to hear your advantages of a significant increase in the weight of the rugby ball.